Often times we want to explain God when it isn’t about explaining, but experiencing. Yesterday was one of those days for me. I sat the whole time during church just listening for God…because I struggle with feeling “disqualified” because of life’s circumstances and wanting to feel like I have a place within the body of Christ. When you go from being “the pastor’s wife” and being so involved to sitting on a pew each Sunday, the devil can make you feel like you have no place…no “ministry” anymore. During the service, I was sitting in the pew trying to focus on what God would want me to take from my time in worship and I have never felt the Holy Spirit speak to me the way He did yesterday. As soon as the pastor started speaking, my eyes were flooded with uncontrollable tears because I knew he was speaking to me.
These words from the Lord flooded my being… “You are not disqualified. I will restore you. I will restore you. I will restore you.”
I’m pretty sure it was obvious, because as soon as we got in the car Kevin said, “Did you want to go to the altar?” This prompted such a wonderful conversation about the goodness of God. Have I mentioned lately what a blessing it is to have a man that listens to God, prays for me and encourages me?
My “ministry” (because if we are Christians, we all have one) may look a little different these days, but as I look back over the last two years I see how God has allowed my heart to be tuned to His will. He has opened doors that by the world’s standard don’t make sense. He has shown me that He is in complete control. He has given me a heart that desires to love Him completely.
Maybe you feel a little disqualified today. Trust me…you still go a lot of fight in you. God will use your trials, struggles, failures and even your disappointments to allow you to be a blessing to someone. Don’t tap out and climb out of the ring because you feel like the match is over and the ending is fixed. Keep looking for ways to spread the love of Jesus and don’t focus so much on the losses you’ve had, but turn your attention to the many wins you have experienced. God has work for you…it may not come packaged the way you had wanted, but let’s just keep swinging for the fences.
