Okay, let’s face it. People are mean…especially kids. I haven’t posted the struggles my middle-schooler has faced, because I know it’s tough being a pre-teen/teenager in today’s world, but for this mama it has been tough.
Long story short…he has been bullied at school a good bit and had his weaknesses picked apart. In doing so, he tries to fit in by hanging around those that pick on him and doing things he shouldn’t to try and fit in. Yes, he is most definitely responsible for his own actions, and he knows better…but we go to great lengths even as adults to fit in…so how can we expect our kids to not to do that same? I feel like the school has my number on speed-dial and because of this, he has been labeled a trouble-maker or “bad kid”. I haven’t been very proud of him, if I am being honest with myself…embarrassed, discouraged and tired are just a few more emotions that come to mind.
I’ve watched his straight A’s drop significantly and his quirky sense of humor suppressed because he is labeled some quite hurtful names. I have comforted him through tears because he doesn’t want to go to school and face his peers on most days. Lord, I know how it feels as an adult not to fit in, but as a goofy teenager, it is even worse! I feel most days like a failure as a parent…like I haven’t prepared him enough for this cruel world and the harshness of reality. We have talked about wise choices, choosing friends that are “true friends”, staying out of trouble and we have prayed. A lot.
Fast forward to yesterday as we were riding in the car discussing the school day. He has been talking to me about one of friends that everyone teases pretty bad. He said, “they made fun of me because I was his partner in class, but I don’t care.” He also was telling me that his friend does not know how to tie his shoes…or can’t tie them well. He said, “Mama, I helped him tie his shoes.”
As I am driving down the road, tears are rolling down my face and I say to him, “I am so proud of you, son. Keep being his friend. Keep tying his shoes.” I don’t think Tanner understood what an act of service this truly is to this child. He’s just tying up some sneakers. If I had to guess this kid is probably grateful for a friend.
In that very moment, God spoke to me. He said, “You are proud because you know his heart, but even greater, I know his heart. When others don’t understand him, I know him completely. I immediately said to Tanner, “Tying his shoes may seem little to you, but I bet it means a lot to your friend.”
Even when those around us don’t understand what struggles we face, what heartaches we are going through, God does. He sees the little things…like tying someone’s shoes. Maybe not literally, but figuratively. It’s not about a Facebook post telling how we bought someone’s coffee in the drive-thru or volunteered in the soup kitchen…it about the stuff that goes seemingly unnoticed most times that has the greatest impact. Not that those things aren’t great, but are we doing it for service or show? What about the simple acts of service that mean the most to someone in need? It’s about tying someone spiritual shoelaces when they barely mustered the energy to get out of bed. Don’t overlook the small things you can do that have an enormous impact in someone’s life. I need to tie more shoes in my life. God gives us grace that is “laced up” in some of the most unforeseen ways sometimes. I needed a little encouragement yesterday. Maybe you need it today, so I’m sharing this with you.